Choosing Happiness
Entry 1.
The Little Things.
I think a lot of our personal happiness comes from within. It is decided and determined by our perception and perspective of the little things. What we assume is meant by a word or phrase can change the entire feeling of a conversation. How we react to a given situation can make or break the mood.
Perception.
What is it and why does it affect our happiness? Perception in the simplest of terms is how our mind sees things. It is our experience of the world through our senses. We often mistake our perception of a situation for reality. Our senses are easily tricked or confused. We see things from one angle or view, whereas reality sees from every angle and view. This is a very important factor to our happiness. A large amount of confusion and frustration is caused by this small mental error of assuming that our viewpoint or perception of a situation is in fact the whole truth and reality.
Once we come to understand that our perception can and will be misleading from time to time, we can begin the groundwork to overcome this obstacle. They are our senses. We possess and own them. In the same way that people with poor eye sight need glasses to adjust their sight, people with poor perception need to make mental adjustments too. Recognize your weaknesses. This allows you to overcome your pride and avoid making waves if you may have perceived something incorrectly. How this helps. Your happiness is what is at stake here. Avoiding the things that hinder our happiness is half the battle.
Perceive Positively.
Our perception will always be flawed, we don't have the capacity to experience every event from every angle, simultaneously and without bias. Face it. It isn't going to happen. Recognize that in large amounts our perception operates on educated guesses and rough estimations. We get as much information as we can but at the end of the day there is still an assumption made that fills in the gaps. Often times it is the assumption that determines our emotional response to a given situation. Here is the twist. Those assumptions are ours. We create them in our minds. We control them. If we over think a situation or assume the worst we are bound to hinder our happiness. The good news is that this is in our control. We can assume for the best. We can have positive thoughts and infuse our days with happiness. This sounds easy but will take a lot of practice to master.
Make it a goal to stop yourself from filling in the blanks with anything unless it is positive. Try it out and see how it works.
Perspective.
Perspective and perception go hand in hand. Perspective in this sense is defined as a Mental view or outlook. I've already taken a moment to talk about making positive assumptions in our personal perception of reality, but where does that positive viewpoint come from? That is where your perspective comes into play. Our minds are powerful beyond our comprehension. The simple principle of whether or not you believe something is possible can enable or limit your ability to accomplish it. Establishing a positive outlook on things is imperative to achieving our happiness and maintaining it.
Thinking positively comes naturally to a lot of people, but not everyone. Being positive is a choice. You can do it. We all can. It starts with the little things. Find something new to appreciate every day. It doesn't have to be anything big. Learn to pick something and consciously choose to appreciate it and find something positive about it. This mental exercise that will help you think more positively.
Let's get one thing straight, no one is asking you to change who you are. If you are naturally quiet, you will probably stay quiet. If you love adventure, nothing should change that. Thinking positively should only enhance who you are. Don't forget the endpoint. We deserve to be happy, doing what we love.
Make it a goal to find something positive about every situation you run into. Write it down if you think that will help. Make a game out of it. Try and find as many positive things about a situation as you can.
I truly believe that by teaching ourselves not to jump to negative assumptions and pushing ourselves to see and value the positives in our lives we will increase our happiness.
Intro.
We all have a list of things that we think will make us happy. We assume that once we have checked the boxes next to everything on that list that we will be happy no matter what, and to protect ourselves from such flawed logic we add a few things to the list that are virtually unattainable. That way there isn't a risk of having everything on our list and still not being happy.
Well, my list is looking pretty good right now. I have a lot of things in my life that I truly love and cherish. I would be truly crushed to lose any of it and I know that these are things that I truly enjoy. So what is the problem? Why isn't there a constant waterfall of joy and comfort pouring down on me to validate my list? Honestly, I don't know. I'm not sure life would really be worth it if it were that easy. I would like to believe that the greatest life lessons and achievements come from within. I would hope that they are born through overcoming obstacles and self validation.
I truly believe that happiness is not a place that you can move to and never be bothered. In my mind I see it as a living thing. It requires constant effort and attention, it suffers when we don't make it a priority and flourishes when we do. I don't believe it is perfect or constant, but unique and vulnerable. It is a fluid relationship that ebbs and flows every moment of every day.
Why all this matters.
I mentioned my list. I have worked for and gained a lot. Family. Love. Friends. Money. Work. Possessions. I am checking a lot of boxes. The problem is that I have been waiting for my waterfall of happiness to just start raining down on me. It hasn't been though and I am worried that I may have damaged things or at the very least taken things for granted. I'm worried that I have put my list in jeopardy.
Turning moment.
I feel that because I have not been good at working for the happiness that I want in my life, I could lose opportunities, people and relationships. I don't want to lose what I have just because I didn't show that I was happy. Here is what I am going to do about it. I truly believe that it is possible to be happy at all costs. I am in the driver's seat and I control my own destiny. I am starting fresh. I am going to try harder and prioritize the important things. I am going to choose happiness. I think that this falls into the category of "Easier said than done" but I know it is worth it.
Why am I blogging about this?
I have decided to keep track of what works and what doesn't and share the things that really help me choose to be happy. I want to do this because I know that I am not the only person out there who is looking for ways to try harder at being happy. I am not positive how this will turn out. I will attempt to keep it fairly impersonal and focus just on the things that helped and why.
The outlook.
We all want to be happy. Everyone has their own perspective on what will work and why. I am doing this for a few reasons. I am doing it for myself. I deserve to be happy. I am doing it for the people in my life that I love. They deserve to know and love and be loved by a happy person, by the very best person I can be. I am doing this for hope. I know that so many of us struggle with hope and knowing whether or not we were meant to be happy. The truth is everyone deserves to be happy and with work we all can be. If all this and all that follows it can help one person, even if it isn't me, then it will be worth it.
